The Gurlitzer-Bering Automatic XML Dispenser: A User's Manual
Table of Contents
Section 3.5.4: Manometer Differentials and Otto's Law of Expansion: A Theoretical Model for the Creation of XSLT
Summary:
Otto's law of expansion dictates that XML will expand geometrically to occupy the space available. This simple fact can be put to use for the creation of a highly intriguing study of manometer differentials, as long as the fundamental distinction between XSLT and Nietzsche's principle of recurring life is borne in mind.
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Step 1:
Isolate the XSLT using Doyle's method of manometer propulsion,
being careful to measure the incremental output at the recommended rate.
Step 2:
Record thermal efficiency and compression rates using a thistle flask
and common protractor. For four-stroke Gurlitzer-Bering dispensers, this
step can be omitted, as the internal schema will notify authorities.
Step 3:
Calculate the caloric (Btu) output value of the aluminum pistons; if
necessary, score the interior fittings with a Bowie knife to prevent
injury to the housing.
Step 4:
Transfer the XSLT to the autoclave and test for Archimedes' principle
in the nearest body of water.
Step 5:
Check the exhaust port for residue, and return the heavy flywheel to
"dead center" position.
Section 3.5.5: Operating Heidenberger's XML-Based Folder-Spindler (With Mangler Option)
Summary:
Heidenberg's XML-Based Folder-Spindler (with mangler option) is a key tool for XML programmers. Folding, spindling, and mangling can be accomplished simultaneously with little effort and great efficiency. The device's basis in XML offers it greater flexibility and range than Wannamaker's HTML-Based All-Purpose Mangler (with folding apparatus.)
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Step 1:
Turn on console power by pressing green CONSOLE ON button if necessary.
Step 2:
Check vacuum status is `standby' or `wet mode.' Select desired operating voltage from key on right lower quadrant of specimen isolation chamber.
Step 3:
Position sample so that top surface of the sample is approximately 1mm below the chamber door frame. Use either the Joystick in the X-Z mode, or the stage-control switch on the front panel.
Step 4:
Shield head with arms and take cover under nearest heavy object.
Step 5:
Retrieve particles of XML from surrounding area with Heidenberg's XML-Based Particle-Retriever (patent pending.)